Whether you call it counseling, therapy, “going to a shrink,” or any variety thereof — seeking psychotherapy can be an overwhelming decision filled with numerous questions. Much of the vocabulary and terminology can be very daunting, and many potential clients are turned away by the complexities of it all. Read More…

Conflict in a marriage can be hard to navigate, especially when we are surrounded with messages about happy every after and marital eternal bliss as the expectation once you say “I do”. But marriage, or any long-term relationship, conflict is inevitable. According to John Gottman, a lead researcher in marital relations, the success of a marriage is tied to a couple’s ability to manage conflict in a healthy way, not the absence of conflict. Gottman suggests some tips for couples to help them resolve marital conflict including:

1. Physiological self-soothing: taking a time out during times of heated conflict.
2. Softened Startup: Using I statements and avoiding blaming language.
3. Repair and de-escalate: be willing to start over when in a calmer space and have a redo of the conversation. Apologize for mistakes or missteps
4. Listen to your partner’s underlying feelings and dreams: often in conflict, our partners have a deeper need they are not communicating. Try to imagine what this may be and work towards comprise in order to meet one another’s needs.
5. Accept influence: hard as it may be accept that your partner may have valid points and insights about you or ideas of how to improve the situation.
6. Compromise: Find common ground between the two of you, even if it means letting of part of what you want.

Source:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/conflict-is-a-normal-and-natural-part-of-your-happily_us_583a019ee4b0a79f7433b6fb

EMDR therapy stand for Eye Movement Desensizitation Reprocessing and was developed in the 1980s by Francine Shapiro. EMDR works to desensitize traumatic memories by using eye movements of bilateral stimulation (bilateral tappers, alternate sounds/tones). The EMDR institute has a very thorough description of EMDR on their website: https://www.emdr.com/frequent-questions/

In my practice, I have used EMDR to treat posttraumatic stress as well as anxiety caused by attachment trauma. In my experience, the methodology of EMDR has been a very useful and powerful adjunct to treatment, and has allowed clients to move through and resolve the mental and physiological stress from trauma that has not moved or become stuck with talk therapy. However, this being said, there is a huge relational component to EMDR that allows for clients to benefit from and deepen their processing with EMDR.

Without this relational component, EMDR is limited, as there exists insufficient trust in the therapeutic relationship for the difficult but powerful emotional processing of EMDR to take place. When an individual has suffered from wounds in their primary attachment relationships as children, or have endured physical, emotional, or sexual trauma, they often operate from a worldview that is skewed or disrupted. Using the therapeutic relationship as a place for clients to experience a new type of relationship: to feel safe in expressing fears, discomforts, and disappointments directly with someone who can meet them and engage in an honest dialogue, is the first step in the healing process. It is in my experience that clients can then develop the grounding skills and emotional strength to move through their traumatic memories with EMDR.

There are differences between an EMDR trained therapist and a therapist who is certified in EMDR. Any therapist with the proper training can technically practice EMDR, however a certified EMDR therapist has been extensively supervised and received advanced training in the practice of EMDR through seminars, lectures, and supervised therapy sessions.

So why is this important information to know when you are looking to start EMDR with a trained therapist? EMDR is a highly effective treatment modality for PTSD and trauma – in the hands of the right clinician.

There have been numerous research studies outlining the effectiveness of EMDR in the treatment of PTSD. However, it is important to work with a highly trained and ethical clinician who is able to support you in this emotional process. EMDR certification ensures that the therapist or clinician using EMDR has demonstrated additional competency and has completed a higher level of training in their specialty.

For additional information on EMDR and certification requirements, please visit: www.emdria.org